Passing Drinks with a Hangover

1. It's really hard to work at an event that's in honor of alcohol when you're hungover.

Friday night I went out with my boyfriend and his brother and his girlfriend. We went to a bar and I drank more drinks than there were songs on the jukebox. I got home fine, but not after telling everyone that they should wear purple shirts more often. Saturday morning I felt like crap but it was okay because I didn't have to go to work until 7:30pm. So I drank Gatorade and ate Saltine crackers the whole day and watched Nip/Tuck online and relaxed.

I got in the shower at 5:30 and tried alternating the temperature of the water between hot and cold (I read online that Gwyneth Paltrow cures her hangovers by doing something similar, and who doesn't do what Gwyneth Paltrow says these days?). It didn't really work, so I chugged another bottle of lukewarm Gatorade I had in the refrigerator that is currently illegally broken in my apartment because my landlord says he doesn't know who to call to fix it. Anyway, I was feeling okay by the time I arrived at the party spot.

Once I realized it was in celebration of alcohol and mixology drinks, I realized how full of shit Gwyneth Paltrow and her methods are. From this point forward, she will not tell me the proper way to boil eggs, and the only makeshift musical instrument I'm interested in creating is putting a blade of grass in between my thumbs and tooting away. The point is I realized how it was going to be difficult to pass around drinks when my head felt as tight as a showroom full of Lamborghinis.

But I got through it because I just concentrated on one particular guy who was in a perfectly tailored suit, except for the fact that the arms of his blazer didn't cover the cuffs of his shirt. He kept tugging on his sleeves the entire night, and they just kept hanging out and getting caught on things. And it wasn't the blazer's fault -- it was the shirt's fault. It was too excessive. I didn't understand what the shirt was was doing, acting like that! Because Michael Douglas has already been cast as Liberace!